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Christian singles service power primer.

Love is something so divine, 

Description would make it less;

'Tis what I feel, but can't define

'Tis what I know, but can't express.- Beilby Porteus

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Christian personals service primer cont.)

Usually abuse (if it is to arise) surfaces early on in the relationship placing a deep strain on good will, romance, respect, and ultimately love. Abuse may arise on one side or both, in either case abuse usually becomes mutual unless one partner is strong. If one partner caves in and returns the abuse the relationship goes MAD.

The prevalence of MAD couples may be illustrated in this: How many mutually abusive relationships have you been in or know of? I have both been in and have known of many such relationships. Now letís add to that number. Many abusive relations are really mutually abusive, but one party denies returning the abuse. No one wants to be known as an abuser, so they convince their friends and family that they are merely the victims when all the while they have been reciprocating and thus fueling the MAD scenario. The number of MAD couples out there is proportionally very high and most couples are not even aware of being one. Even Christian relationships are not exempt from the MAD scenario. The following will help you to identify a MAD relation.

1. MAD always hinges upon at least two abusers in the relationship. Whether they abuse drugs, alcohol, each other or worse the children.

2. MAD always escalates with an ultimate aim to subdue the will, joy, freedom or life of the other.

3. MAD always leads to hatred or apathy of their partner, and destroys success.

Once the MAD die is cast it is very difficult to remold it into a recoverable relationship as there is much damage and resentment that may linger. Love may start anew, but the mistrust and feelings of guilt and or resentment may never go away. If a couple is willing to work at it they can salvage the relationship, all is not lost, but the work required will not be pretty or easy. Of course it is always best if you begin your new relationship on a healthy footing so as to avoid altogether the specter of your relationship going MAD.

DONíT GET MAD GET MAP!

It is crucial in the beginning of dating to start out on a positive note, since first impressions are lasting ones. It is also critical to be vigilant and ever on the lookout for signs of abuse both on your side and the other. Do not excuse it or sweep it under the rug as many do, but confront it or leave before it takes you over and draws you in.

In healthy and thriving relationships these couples practice what We at the "Christian dating service primer" call the MAP theory of love. Thatís- Mutual Assured Promotion. By promoting each others well being above themselves they free each other to map out their own personal goals and dreams in life. One may adopt the others goal as their mutual goal. Perhaps one wants to become a doctor or playwright so they both cooperate to see that goal come to fruition. This is a common practice with healthy couples. Needless to say MAP is a much more effective formula for mutual success than the MAD scenario. The hallmarks of MAP are:

1. MAP always hinges upon at least two partners willing to safe guard each others best interests above their own.

2. MAP always escalates and builds the life of the partner and never ceases.

3. MAP always has as itís ends love, respect, and devotion.

The question, dear reader now becomes, which will you chose- MAD or MAP? More on the signs to watch out for and how to effectively counteract them in the bonus chapter- Get your black belt here!

"Christian personals services primer cont. click below."

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