4. Feelings- This is
the bonding or breaking level for most relationships. Your
deepest emotions are expressed at this level. Once comfortable with
each other and youíve both passed through the door of the third
level deeper relations ensue. Here a high level of trust is needed.
This is where the really big conflicts are generated.
Trust is accrued over time, built
upon confidence and based upon the otherís perceived commitment.
The longer the relationship the more confidence, trust, and
commitment ties the hearts together.
Continuing with our dailoge:
Susan: Iím sorry I didnít mean
to hurt youíre feelings John. Youíre brother is not an idiot, itís
just that I care very deeply about you and your family, and Iíd
hate to see any of you get hurt.
John: Thank you Susan, Iím glad
you care so much. I know you didnít mean anything bad. I love you.
Susan: I love you too John, very
Note that through the conflict
they reaffirmed their bond of love. Situations like this will tell
others how much we care and thus deepen our commitment, trust, and
understanding towards each other.
The fourth level enables a select
few to know your heart. This comes with time, and social etiquette
demands it, as well as the heart. We as a society donít hold high
regard for those who ďwear their hearts on their sleeves.Ē It is
quite uncomfortable to be around someone like that. Unless youíre
both drunk at a bar and the alcohol has temporarily removed those
One last note on level four. This
is where you will really shine because you will be required to
exercise difficult mental and emotional tasks simultaneously. You
will be judged on flexibility, diplomacy, self-control, empathy, and
(Christian personals service primer
cont. Click Here.)